Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?

Don't blame this column on me. If you want to single anyone out for blame, you can target a band of beer-drinking bronco cowboys and Brahma bull riders I met at a riding stable in Phoenix, AZ.

Now I happen to like cowboys. I was one of them for years and even competed in weekend rodeo events at Bud Brown's Barn, a corral that existed in Phoenix before it was torn down to make room for progress.

When rodeo cowboys and bull riders get together for a beer session, almost anything can happen. The participants were Rowdy, Wrangler, Dusty, Six-Gun, Rafael, Jesse and a barrel racer named Tina who was once a Bunny at the Phoenix Playboy Club.

ROWDY: 'Say, Partner, somebody told me you write for poker magazines and an international gambling website. 'Zat true? Hand me a beer, Tina, honey?'

TINA: 'Don't honey me. Here's your beer.'

ME: 'It's true. What's on your mind?'

ROWDY ( sipping his Coors): 'Well, me and Wrangler was joshin' around and we came up with an idee that could go on teevee and make all of us a ton of money. But they'd have to change the poker rules ta get it done.'

WRANGLER (nodding vigorously while he tries to steal Rowdy's beer): 'That's right. I play poker at the American Legion and sometimes at Wild Horse Pass down Chandler way. They have a rule of one person per hand. Is zat so?'

ME: (nodding): 'That's right. Only one person for every poker hand. If you let two people look at the hand, it might lead to collusion.'

RAFAEL (who isn't a beer drinker but who is sipping Tequila Gold): 'Collusion, collision, who cares? It's poker.'

WRANGLER (ignoring Rafael): 'Anyhow, we got to thinking. What was one of the most popular teevee shows in history? The answer, of course, was 'Do You Want To Be A Millionaire?' The program with that Regis Philbin and all those pretty gals where a person could win a million dollars jest by answering 10 multiple choice questions.'

SIX-GUN (burping into his beer): 'Great show. Me and the Missus used ta watch it every week before she flung me over and went back to her ex in Texas.'

WRANGLER (giving Six-Gun a scathing look for interrupting him): Anyhow, Mr. Reporter, we were wondering. Why don't somebody invent a 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' poker game show for teevee? You could either make up the poker table with regular folks who play the game for $1 million, winner-take-all. Or you could line up some of the big boys like Donald Trump, Steve Wynn, Bill O'Reilly, Anderson Cooper, Larry King and...who did I leave out?'

TINA: (sloshing Wrangler with the remains of an empty beer can as she passes his chair): 'You left out a woman. How about Oprah Winfrey or Annie Duke?'

RAFAEL: 'And President Obama. Don't leave out the President. They could play down to one person who would give the million dollars to the charity of their choice. That would make the people tune in, wouldn't it, Mr. Reporter?'

I thought it was a great idea and told them so.

WRANGLER: (finishing his beer and reaching for another): 'The collusion could come when one of the players, say Donald Trump, pushes in all his chips. There's the President or Steve Wynn or maybe Oprah sitting there not knowing whether to call or fold. Her cards could be viewed by the teevee audience and they could vote on what she should do. That would sure be an audience grabber.'

DUSTY (shaking his head): 'An audience grabber, yep. But I don't know about the rest of it,' he said.

WRANGLER (giving him a disgusted look): 'What don't you know about? You're just a bull rider whose had most of his brains kicked out by Brahmas. A poker game with those kind of celebrities would attract millions.'

DUSTY: 'No question about that, Pard. I just mean I don't know about giving all that cush to charity. I'd keep the money.'

Author: Geno Lawrenzi Jr.

(Geno Lawrenzi Jr. is an international journalist, magazine author and ghostwriter. If you have a unique gambling story to share with him, you may qualify for a cash award. Send your story with all the details to glawrenzi@gmail.com ).